It’s raining dramatically and peacefully today. After too much sun I find rain to be very soothing . Like a soft massage to my soul.

Today is exactly 2 weeks after I started training for the marathon. Since the 2nd of October I ran in total 42.66 km, including 5 days break in between. Few days ago I got trainer Goran as additional help. He has drawn a weekly training program that includes 1 heavy training (yasso or tempo), 3 light trainings (12-18km) and weekend’s long steady runs. I have to keep track of my running time and improve it slowly. There’s no point me ending like Pheidippides.

I didn’t know that my trainer is brother of Mladen Matičević‘s wife. But more importantly, what I didn’t know is that his best friend committed suicide two months ago. Few friends gently warned me about his ‘sad state’. I never like to pity another person. I find it degrading. So while we’re talking about me running a marathon, why and what it means to me, I mentioned my 2 clinical deaths and a basket of oranges that saved my life when I was 7; I landed straight into it from 5 m high. Later he offered me an orange, said he’ll help me to train and connect me with two other marathon men from Makarska: “It’s easier to run when you’re with others Martina.”

I’m a painter. But in ‘artistic world’ of today, there is no sincerity. There’s no fair play. There are politics, marketing, agents, critics, money washing and imperative of who knows who and how good you’re at lying.  Aleksandar Srnec once said “The moment you sell yourself, your art has gone to hell.”

I’ve found my way to escape that ugly, artificial world. I paint. I make exhibitions. I sell paintings to persons who really like them and want them to have. I’m a proof that agents, critics and other walls that are still surrounding a vast majority of ‘artists’ can be climbed over. Instant popularity doesn’t interest me. A person is becoming a painter whole her/his life. And maybe, just maybe, at the end of her/his life, that person might become an artist as well.

Sport is a fair play: it all comes down to your abilities & will to train. Everything is pretty much straight forward. There are no biased critiques “we say you can’t compete because we don’t like the style of your running shoes.” And when the day of a competition comes, you try to be best as you can.

And that’s why I like sport as the opposite to my painting.

The same I like rain as the opposite to sun.