dog is god

what is love?

father once told me the reason i have a dog is coz i am lacking love. dog obviously gives me what i need or lack since childhood. i never lived with my father and we had periods of very rocky relationship. but i had grandpa and uncle who both did excellent ‘job’ as replacment dads. for that reason i don’t have issues with man’s authority or patriarchal mentality.

what is love?

when i was 4, my stray dog Žućo saved my life and lost his. to this day i remember the scene of him jumping in front of white van and him laying on the pavement. me, offering him a bread and crying for i learned in instance what death or loss is. it means, you’re not here anymore.

what is love?

my moro was sent to me. from the way how he got his name to everyhing else in the past 12 years, all proved he is a god dog. as in princess mononoke movie. it is said that white dogs are healers. all dogs heal, but white ones have something special in them, they have something gandalf like in them. since the day i got him i paid utmost attention he doesn’t get hit by the car and trained him to acquire stray dog mentality – to be aware of the sourroundings. plus, he was extremly inteligent and highly emotionally evolved.

what is love?

12 years multiplied by 365 days multiplied by on average 5 times a day – the moments in which i was fully aware how lucky i am to have moro in my life. i never ever took him for granted. every time i would looked at him i was in awe just how beautiful dog he is. or the correct word would be, just a perfect being.

what is love?

i never loved anyone nor i will ever love anyone like i love him. the love he was giving back was out of this world. since i was a kid i felt that i will never experience true love connection with other human being but only maybe with a dog. not human sex love but the uncontidional love. the warm fuzzy love. the honest love. the ultimate surrender love.

what is love?

it is a connection that requires no words. makes no promises. does no ultimatums. love is rays of sun or rain drops falling down your face or scent of flowers blooming in spring or crisp sound of fresh snow or early morning iodine sea air. love is utter abudance compeletely out of a human control.

what is love?

it gives everything and requires nothing in return. love creates meaning for every particle in universe. it is the ultimate force, the mystery of everything.

what is love?

i was honored to have moro in my life, same as i had žućo. they are my angles, beings from another dimensions. i often wonderd, if there is a god, a higher force or name it is as you want..than here on earth they are manifesting themselves in a form of a dog.

what is love?

love is the state of being that i have when i think about my moro.

ps. one of songs that i used to sing to him and he would listen..for some reason this song makes me cry every time. to my beautiful angel moro, be happy and pls watch over me my love ❤

hate as happier than ever

i was with my good friend, best friend. she told me billie has a new album and i didn’t know about it. i thought this was a good reason to write a new post.

actually the topic was not Billie at all.

few years ago I wrote a post. I’m 43 now and no, I don’t regret it.

I was talking recently with some group of people, males predominantly. some of them went to ‘school’ to become priests but decided to come out of it. the ‘knowledge’ they have is huge and limiting. they simply became institutionalized aka very badly brain washed.

I tired to explained them what it means for a woman to have a basic human right. The right to be free from mere injustice and pathologically confied roles disguised as social norms women were subjected to for centuries. richard dawkins wrote the book on selfish gene. We all carry past in our genes. following this train of thought, I always felt the burden of our female ancestors. what would our grand grand grand mothers say if they could saw what future brings for a female. what would they say if they could saw that their life is not determined by others already at birth? That there is a possibility of freedom at least in a financial sense.

premise that woman’s worst enemy is an another woman is still both right & wrong. living like puppets for centuries, women became institutionalized. They act like prisoners, constantly looking suspicious and ‘fearing’ others. And if they’re granted with freedom, they don’t know what to do with it. Analogy with The Shawshank Redemption. Another analogy i like to use are birds vs chickens. Some women fly graciously while others sit on eggs, pick served food, never leaving their chicken house. Flying is tough, it requires a lot of energy for saying no to gravity.

I never believed in a marriage. if any of you knew the history of marriage anyone sane would run from it. I was asked a long time ago, “well don’t you want to be married in a white gown?” was a such a stupid question, I refrained from answering it..

the thing is, for centuries women didn’t know anything about creativity or education. being a mother was the ultimate goal for most of them. majority went blindly with that premise. some women that I meet today find hard to believe how I live. men on the other hand are in awe coz i’m happy, relaxed, I even look much younger then most of them. yes, i’m currently ‘alone’, so what?

i had a chance for ultimate love fairytale but it all went sour. Courage in movies is one thing, courage in reality is another. after winning oscar for a role in that reality, i became free.

when somebody asks me “so, how’re you gonna live if you end up alone, who’s gonna take care of you when you get old?” I reply, “I don’t know, who cares?”.

Western civilization is run by fear. Zen knows nothing about fear. Art and creativity also. We are all here for a such a brief amount of time and it makes no sense to make any fuss about it. There’s too much beauty in this world / dimension.

This post is dedicated to all my dear grand, grand, grand, grand, grand…mothers. Rest in peace ❤

wisdom aka what would Zarathustra say?

yeah! A month ago I opened the store on, check it out:

few days ago, a friend advised me to check out nft . I advised him back to check again my store and to buy something, say a t-shirt.

besides the store link, I logged in to share two funky cool versions of Richard Strauss “Also sprach Zarathustra”. I also recommend the book if you didn’t read it already. The music piece was specially popularized by S. Kubrick’s “2001: Space Odyssey”.

when you listen to this, you don’t get the feeling that money was the reason to create art. right?

ps. absolutely love funk; one of favorite geniuses (he was 19 here)


I was talking to a guy about Haiti and he suddenly mentioned that if the earthquake hits Haiti, it will be catastrophic: everything will collapse like house of cards. He knew that all the money Haiti got form UN was not used to build earthquake – safe houses. Few years later, in 2010 earthquake of 7.0 hit Haiti causing major catastrophe. Seven days before the event, i was feeling immense sadness i couldn’t explain. When i heard the news i remember falling down to my knees crying hard. I had a friend there which i met when i was 17 and always wanted to visit her. I know Haiti is among poorest countries in the world, but so what. People are beautiful. My friend from Makarska worked there (a mission, doctor) and after a year she had to leave. She said the situation there became she went to Pakistan..before Haiti she worked in Sudan.

Today, Petrinja, Sisak, Glina and lots of villages were hit by the strongest earthquake in croatian history, 6.2. Petrinja’s and Glina’s centres are in ruins. These towns suffered terribly in war but sadly, the earthquake, in just 10 seconds managed to beat by far that horror record. Sisak also. My dad is ok but his house is damaged, luckly, not too much. Unfortunately, my other friends lost their homes today. I still cannot visit my dad, photos i see are devastating.

Zagreb was also shaking a lot today, almost more than in old neighbours were crying, they just cannot handle it anymore. I live in old centre, my flat is ok, but those of others are not.

Now, you can say, you had to build better houses etc. My dad’s house was build by german engineer. So eventhough it is almost 100 years old, apart from the roof, house is ok. But those of many others are not. Big tragedy happened and currently there is little else to say about this.

Since i was a kid, i only had fear of earthquakes. In Makarska, Earth would often shake and the sound of awkward thunder was the ultimate horror sound. When earthquake hit Zagreb in March, my thought was ‘so today is the day i die’..Today, after experiencing again strong earthquake and realizing that epicenter was in Petrinja and Sisak, it made me feel like a ghost. I couldn’t get my dad on the phone, yet i refused to think something bad happend to him.

Shit happens. Nature’s force is nature’s force. It’s immensely powerful making human being in a second humble and tiny, tottaly irrelevant. Poor people are now made even more poor (as if this was possible). In these horrific moments, what makes me feel a bit better is seeing people from all parts of this small country getting together helping in all possible ways. Evil might be stronger but Good is much bigger*. (*nature knows nothing about good and bad, this is just my human ‘figure of speech’)

My thoughts go to sisak-moslavina county ❤

ps. learn from japanese, the masters of construction (2011, earthquake of 9.0 lasted 6 minutes). prosecute construction criminal(s) and introduce new laws regarding construction&building.

sexy sound

if i were a kid, i would dance my ass out to this sound. the simple melody and singer’s voice is just so groovy.

i don’t know if you ever played indians & cowboys as a kid. i did and always played ‘indian’ while john wayne was ‘the infuencer’ on tv in those days. for us, indians were way more cooler than a white man and his funny walk.

among many problems with todays pop music is that you never hear saxophone anymore. in the 80s, sax was the sexiest instrument you could add to some cool sound. it would provide a song with a specially sexy dimension. a simple note: analog sound is way much hotter than digitally (re)mastered sound.

i would definitely love to make out to this song. so groovy. and when somebody says to me that music taste doesn’t matter, i simlpy walk away.

ps. if i decide to come back in an another life, i promise: i’ll be a jazz singer

white man, you can’t kill me.


upcoming exhibition

* digital work for the upcoming exhibition

i’m currently on vacation on an little island where my mum and stepdad spend other half of the year. it’s my first time here, definitely not the last. the island is in the middle of the sea so horizon is immense. turquoise is all around me, as well as lush greenery. they also have a boat. 2 days ago i swam with eagle ray and i saw a whale. i free dive (but thinking of doing professional course for the sake of safety).

there are no cars here. there are millions of stars and silence.

regarding creativity & profession, i avoided the notion of comfort zone as much as i could coz this is how you ‘grow’. now i’ll finally dive into it. i’m doing new series in my old/new hand-writing and loving it.

note: in the absence of atelier, digital medium is perfectly fine