miracle aka 4×4 equals 7

 

I went down deep for I had no other choice. ‘down there’ I could’ve only trusted my heart, intuition & dreams, not ‘my brain’.

down there, I knew nothing due to few black spots in my memory due to epi. like not recognizing a person(s) you once knew..(extremely rare)

mind provoked by heart will, on its own eventually, follow its heart. and present clear memories full of trust.

sort of a miracle; as if in a dark night@sea a huge lighthouse is suddenly lit on, navigating me home.

did you know that 4 squared equals 7 or that 7 squared equals 4?

its weird I know but I was told I don’t have to apologize.

what a relief 🙂

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light and darkness give birth to colors


”Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent.” Wittgenstein

I was writing a post and realized I was missing the main point, the reason I wanted a ‘new post’. Currently there is nothing more comforting than being able to be gentle…and I was afraid I lost that feeling. I would rather die.

Since 2007, after few years of meditation, I started writing down lines that’re keep ‘coming’ to me. I never ever wrote anything before that writing was never my thing.

These line I don’t posses, they’re not mine I feel. I have tons of them and one day I might collect them in one booklet with drawings. It’s about sharing. Important to note, any kind of meditation, be it sitting in a silence or walking in a forest, tunes our brain to finer and delicate frequencies. It’s not being above it all but looking through it. When you ‘see’ and understand than you can also truly love. It’s not easy tough, taking a leap of faith is not for everybody. But for some is, I guess a destiny. I didn’t choose many things, extreme life situations, they chose me. Hundreds of times I felt in no control of my life and trying to falsely relax in such states was not primeval, not sincere. But I didn’t know how to help myself. Your brain can often fool you (great servant but awful master) and your body will eventually & unfortunately react in ill manner – ‘The human body is the best picture of the human soul’‘. Wittgenstein

It’s my 1st time posting these lines here, a few for a start, from 2007:

”Nasilje nikada ne moze biti rjesenje problema. Ono je samo po sebi najveci problem. Veci od ikojeg problema koje ono moze prouzrociti.”

”Suosjecanje nikada nije posesivno. Ono oslobadja. Za razliku od ljubavi kakvu poznajemo.”

”Covjecanstvu su oduvijek potrebni mudri ucitelji. Nikada vodje.”

”Zemlja ne treba nasu ljubav da bi opstala. Covjecanstvo da bi opstalo, treba voljeti Zemlju.”

”Bojati se svoje prirode (kakva god da jest) znaci bojati se samog zivota.”

”Zasto je lakse ‘voljeti’ druge nego sebe? Jer smo svi mi odmalena voljeni na taj isti nacin. Na posesivan nacin.”

”Biti strpljiv. U tisini. Razumjeti.”

”Ono sto covjecanstvu danas treba, mozda vise neko ikada, jesu suze I smijeh.”

”Pustiti ne znaci prepustiti.”

”Izludjujuce je osijecati zivot duboko, a zivjeti ga povrsno.”

”Kada bez borbe prihvatimo vlastitu nemoc, primit cemo pomoc samog zivota.”

”Strah ubija zivot, a ne smrt.”

”Koliko smo se smijali s roditeljima? Koliko smo pricali, a da nas oni cuju? Koliko su imali hrabrosti i razumijevanja da nas puste da budemo sta jesmo? … I onda se sablaznjavamo nad strahotama koje vec stoljecima covjek radi covjeku.”

”Pcela zivi svoj puni potencijal. Covjek jos uvijek ne.”

”List zivi na drvetu, ono je njegov sav svijet. Covjek zivi na Zemlji, ona je njegov cio svijet. List ne povrijedjuje drvo…osim kada je bolesno.”

”Ratujemo jer nam je strah poznatiji od zivota. A svi strahujemo od rata i volimo zivot. Koji paradoks.”

”Samo si mlad covjek moze priustiti da kaze ‘znam puno toga’.”

”Covjek cita mnogo mnogo knjiga da bi mogao pricati o nicemu. ‘Filozofi’ pricaju najvise.”

”Ocekivanja ubijaju momente.”

”Sto je zutanjak u šoku? Maslacak.”

”Nagrada strpljenju je strpljenje.”

”Cvijet se otvara suncu, prirodno, s lakocom. Takva ista lakoca trebala bi postojati izmedju dvoje ljudi da bi ljubav cvjetala.”

”Kada te nesto ‘dotakne’ – vjeruj srcu, a ne umu. Um je prepun. Srce je vecinu vremena prazno.”

”Kada se zvijezde ne vide, ne znaci da ih nema.”

”Nema noci bez dana. Nema zvuka bez tisine.”

”Svjetlo i tama radjaju boje.”

”Cijeli svemir stane u jedno zrno pijeska.”

”Za veliku ljubav potrebno je snazno srce.”

”Tko prvi vidi sunce dok ga jos nema? Ptice.”

”Akumulacija bilo cega, osim ljubavi, nezdravo deblja.”

Tina: love’s got everything to do with it

i was 6 when i saw her for the 1st time. voice from another galaxy. her majestic hair resembling mane. black mini skirt and stilettos complementing her great legs. aretha was my teenage love; tina is my all time love.

as a kid i asked mum why didn’t she name me Tina instead, well, you can always change your name later if you wish.

i’m working on my digital portfolio and also preparing for the upcoming exhibitions next year, end of january and  june/july. theme is digital art (merging with traditional), i got invitation from a town gallery > most artists in croatia don’t do digital. if asked why not,  they say they don’t like computers, learning SW is too hard and third, some of them are just not good in drawing and painting. plus, HW, SW costs a lot. digital industry is evolving & expanding to different areas so i don’t expect prices of related HW or SW to decline.

i’m not copying anyone’s style as some artists (un)consciously do. there is an established digital visual market (mangas, sexy/erotic fantasy heroinas, child like characters, all kinds of monsters, robots etc., funny in any case) and this makes everything so much easier coz the rules are already set. which doesn’t imply that those rules can’t be challenged. on the other hand, creating art exhibition with no preset rules is simply wonderfully freeing.

in may i went to conference on digital art and was surprised when i met few artists that do only traditional art, meaning working only with aquarelle or pencil. they do look happy and at peace.

so what is Tina doing in this post?

this heroine is the perfect example of an incredibly strong, positive, gentle amazon like woman-hero. she’s my muse for every super special female character. some artists need jungian archetypes to get inspired and that’s fine.

i have Tina, thx T 🙂

ps. video: ”Break every rule world tour” – concert at Maracana 1988. in front of over 180.000 fans

adio pape: Oliver Dragojević

this legend will never die. his legacy is forever.

also reminder of what it means to be true life artist, a wonderful human being above all.

Šaka suza, vrića smija, ča je život vengo fantažija

i na lažini suvoj ležat, blizu mora

it’s hard to convey what Oliver means to me, this time words just don’t do..

adio moj pape

happy b-day moro!

A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog.” Jack London

“Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole once more.”  Agatha Christie

“The more I get to know people the more I like my dog.” Mark Twain

time flies not like flies but as a space shuttle. 5 years ago I wrote one of my most beloved posts about my 1st dog, my stray dog Zuco. he saved my life when i was 4 and now as i type it my eyes are watering…wait

i wrote many posts about many things but i’ve never written a post about my dog Moro.

Moro turned 9 years today and I don’t want to wait until morning to write this. he is sleeping already and probably bit of light bothers him but says nothing. he is my best friend and currently only family i have.

i was suffering from a form of epilepsy since i was 15, caused by stress and abuse. i always knew that dog would be great for my ‘head’ but mother never allowed it. she is married now and lives somewhere far away. she has other interests. father lives somewhere fay away. he didn’t like moro at the beginning nor did moro like him which was odd. few years later i understood why was moro acting like that.

moro got his name in a bus while entering town of Sarajevo, was visiting film festival 9 years ago. i was thinking how to name him and thought about maybe moro. we used to have rottweiler moro, he had a big white spot on his chest which was very odd for a rottweiler. i wasn’t quite sure that this was the best name for my havanese so i left that idea and started thinking about other names. half a minute later, a big green cistern passed our bus and on its back it was written in huge white letters MORO. thank you Sarajevo ❤

moro was literally invited to the academy of fine arts and spent hours in atelier. he never ever stepped on any paper, or canvas, never ever did he chew my brushes or else. my colleagues would often ‘kidnaped’ him while i was on lectures so he was socializing since he was a puppy. he adores people, loves sea and driving on the boat, bike, his favourite activity is sniffing so i often call him snoopy…he has the most beautiful eyes and could make a list of things he makes me proud of. one scene really got stuck in my memory; i was eating something when suddenly i lost ability to swallow. the food was already near my trachea and i couldn’t do anything to push it further down. horror. i really got scared but i had to be calm and relax, yet that didn’t help. the food was still there so either i’ll suffocate or else. i looked at my moro and saw he was scared shitless. instinctively i sat down on the floor and he started liking my hands so gently, inviting me to caress him. after few seconds i finally swallowed that bite. thank you Moro ❤

dogs are best friends when there is nobody. even when there is, dogs feel world differently. i learned a lot from my dog by just observing him or better to say observing myself. moro allows me to be gentle and not to be sad too long coz i have responsibility to take care of him. and myself in that manner. he always makes me smile, makes other people laugh, we cuddle often and we also sing – he is very vocal and picks up the sounds almost like a parrot. i do his haircuts and of course i didn’t castrate him.

at the beginning of this post my eyes were watering for sentimental reasons. at the end of this post my eyes smile coz my heart is healthy again as is my dog who turned 9 years today.

Happy Birthday Moro! 🙂

ps. we like to thank my friend Marta and island of Hvar for inviting us to enjoy a bit @ sea.