happy b-day moro!

A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog.” Jack London

“Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole once more.”  Agatha Christie

“The more I get to know people the more I like my dog.” Mark Twain

time flies not like flies but as a space shuttle. 5 years ago I wrote one of my most beloved posts about my 1st dog, my stray dog Zuco. he saved my life when i was 4 and now as i type it my eyes are watering…wait

i wrote many posts about many things but i’ve never written a post about my dog Moro. coz this means i must write about myself when the life was losing me.

Moro turned 9 years today and I don’t want to wait until morning to write this. he is sleeping already and probably bit of light bothers him but says nothing. he is my best friend and currently only family i have.

being alone in this world is tough, especially in periods when health was at risk. i was suffering from a form of epilepsy since i was 15, caused by stress and abuse. i always knew that dog would be great for my ‘head’ but mother never allowed it. she is married now and lives somewhere far away. she has other interests. father lives somewhere fay away. he didn’t like moro at the beginning nor did moro like him which was odd. few years later i understood why was moro acting like that.

moro got his name in a bus while entering town of Sarajevo, was visiting film festival 9 years ago. i was thinking how to name him and thought about maybe moro. we used to have rottweiler moro, he had a big white spot on his chest which was very odd for a rottweiler. i wasn’t quite sure that this was the best name for my bichon so i left that idea and started thinking about other names. half a minute later, a big green cistern passed our bus and on its back it was written in huge white letters MORO. thank you Sarajevo ❤

my dog moro was literally invited to the academy of fine arts and spent hours in atelier. he never ever stepped on any paper, or canvas, never ever did he chew my brushes or else. my colleagues would often ‘kidnaped’ him while i was on lectures so he was socializing since he was a puppy. he adores people, loves sea and driving on the boat, bike, his favourite activity is sniffing so i often call him snoopy…he has the most beautiful eyes and could make a list of things he makes me proud. but one scene really got stuck in my memory: i was eating something when suddenly i lost ability to swallow. the food was already near my trachea and i couldn’t do anything to push it further down. horror. i really got scared but i had to be calm and relax, yet that didn’t help. the food was still there so either i’ll suffocate or else. i looked at my moro and saw he was scared shitless. instinctively i sat down on the floor and he started liking my hands so gently, inviting me to caress him. after few seconds i finally swallowed that bite. thank you Moro ❤

that scene is from a period when it was almost impossible for me to stay alive. among many things that ‘attacked’ my body at that period, I also got a syndrome of a broken heart. literary my heart was dying. i would end up at emergencies and directly transferred to cardiologist who couldn’t understand how a person with a ‘healthy’ heart experiences such problems – pulse 35, blood pressure 40/60 etc. only 2 years later an old cardiologist from Split understood that it’s psychological, i lost a will to live. he told me that situation is serious and it all depends on me. i knew that before him but now I had scientific proof. it is similar with zen teachers, when they decide it’s time to go, they go. and yes, a person will die ‘easily’ if there are no people around and no nurturing love in your whole life.

nobody likes to read or listen bad stories. i was ashamed for a long time of what happened to my life. some parents scarify own life to save child’s life, while some persons scarify child’s life to save their own. but i learned that there’s nothing to be ashamed about. they are not me and I am not them. never was. they are not bad people just unfortunately have selfish genes. guess being ‘fascinated’ with abandoned children since my very young age kind of prepared me early on for everything that is about to happen later in life. when you live on your own since childhood, a person develops amazing skills to survive. who knows, one day i might write a book on it, a manual how to survive when there is no reason for it. 

dogs are best friends when there is nobody. even when there is. dogs feel world differently. i learned so much from my dog by just observing him or better to say observing myself. moro allows me to be gentle but didn’t allow me to be sad too long coz i have responsibility to take care of him. and myself in that manner. he always makes me laugh, makes other people laugh, we cuddle often and we also sing – he is very vocal and picks up the sounds almost like a parrot. i do his haircuts and of course i didn’t castrate him.

at the beginning of this post my eyes were watering for sentimental reasons. at the end of this post my eyes smile coz my heart is healthy again as is my dog who turned 9 years today.

Happy Birthday Moro! 🙂

ps. we like to thank my friend Marta and island of Hvar for inviting us to enjoy a bit @ sea.
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the power of running

 

i run since i can remember and here are few basic running tips:

  • where: the best is to run on gravelly, grassy grounds such as forest walkway; trim trak is also ok but yep, can be really boring
  • how/running style: always start slowly and land on the middle portion of your foot (note: landing on the heel is for walking; landing on the front portion of the foot is for sprint). this type of running comes natural, you can run short and long distances without causing too much stress to your body
  • what/breathing: optimally should be to inhale and exhale through nose. i focus on the rhythm of breathing, synchronizing it efficiently with body movements. when you reach comfortable breathing zone then you can truly relax and just run. i usually inhale 3x and exhale 3x, listening own breathing works intoxicating. guess it’s about the rhythm as if actually dancing not running
  • audio: when listening to music pls wear only 1 earphone as you should have crips audio awareness of your surrounding, especially if running in area that is busy with cars
  • traffic lights: when you hit the red light on the street i either jump in place or relax and shake my feet, and smile to people 🙂
  • swallowing insects; i’m not near bear grylls but that happens – all good, that’s just bljaki proteins
  • important: for the heart, nerves, muscles it’s good taking 375mg of magnesium/day (1 swellable tablet, preferably in the evening) and vitamin C; the pees proteins are also excellent as additional nutritirent

the thing with running is that you only need sneakers and go out, there’s no hassle. and even if you don’t feel like running, once you make the first step the good vibe hits you in, feeling light. everything is in movement so when you run you are like one of those galaxies spinning all around but you cannot see them coz of too much light, but they are there. and in those moments you definitely know that everything is good and ok. guštaj 🙂

2 dive for

I looked at the watch on comp expecting to be late when actually it’s not. i was drinking earlier with my b/friend. we met few years ago and instantly clicked which is often tough luck with women these days, most are married with kids or are just too busy. i don’t drink and she is a trained sommelier, knows wines etc. my favorite drink is water and i know that’s boring. that’s why i only drink if other person truly knows if it’s something good, also if the occasion is appropriate. today we started to drink coz she hit me with the news of her leaving to canada. she got the papers and was a bit surprised, i wasn’t. im happy for her and a bit sad coz im too facing a change sooner or later. we agreed not to blame croatia for leaving despite a cool job here, we decided to blame canada. what a relief…

we bought some good rose and bubbles with a turquoise label. she is a hedonist type and loves to eat good, it’s great to have a female friend that enjoys food like gourman. as time and glasses went by, we got to talk about love and 1st kiss. we met through my friend from school days, she did some wine business for him. funny part is that for a long time i considered him to be my first kiss. my 1st kiss should’ve worked out perfectly, be kind of magically weird, different with special someone. the false experience was just bljak but it got stuck. as we laughed about it, i decided to tell her about my real 1st kiss i remembered spontaneously many years later. often i wondered why i hide it from my consciousness and why that ‘ugly loop’ remined. now i know why.

my real 1st kiss was magical and i liked it a big time. it was a ripe soft colorfull gift for my virgin lips, 1st physical contact of an another kind. my personal wonder in time when there was nothing. as written previously, some persons cannot live without passion.

i wondered what i would be doing if i wouldn’t be doing what i’m doing now. my 1st kiss told me i look like a painter, to become an artist. his parents were architects, something i admired and aspired. so when i heard his words i got insecure coz i was sure he thinks i have no brain thus it’s better for me to paint. of course i was wrong. only many years later i realized there’s totally another world in the world in which me being sensible, creative, free is ok…writing too, and everything that comes with it. him being ‘honest’ opened me to myself first, someone i didn’t know it existed…well, yes i did know but that person was too shy to come out. he helped setting me free from plastic shell without maybe knowing it. or he’s just too smart to be shallow.

i don’t know about your reminiscences of 1st love, kiss. my was magical. wierd & different. if i wouldn’t be doing what i am doing now i wouldn’t be the same person answering this question so it all comes back to the beginning. we are all connected, some just a bit better. it all depends how deeply tuned you are in, if you really care. like to dive for.