miracle aka 4×4 equals 7


I went down deep for I had no other choice. ‘down there’ I could’ve only trusted my heart, intuition & dreams, not ‘my brain’.

down there, I knew nothing due to few black spots in my memory due to epi. like not recognizing a person(s) you once knew..(extremely rare)

mind provoked by heart will, on its own eventually, follow its heart. and present clear memories full of trust.

sort of a miracle; as if in a dark night@sea a huge lighthouse is suddenly lit on, navigating me home.

did you know that 4 squared equals 7 or that 7 squared equals 4?

its weird I know but I was told I don’t have to apologize.

what a relief 🙂

light and darkness give birth to colors

”Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent.” Wittgenstein

I was writing a post and realized I was missing the main point, the reason I wanted a ‘new post’. Currently there is nothing more comforting than being able to be gentle…and I was afraid I lost that feeling. I would rather die.

Since 2007, after few years of meditation, I started writing down lines that’re keep ‘coming’ to me. I never ever wrote anything before that writing was never my thing.

These line I don’t posses, they’re not mine I feel. I have tons of them and one day I might collect them in one booklet with drawings. It’s about sharing. Important to note, any kind of meditation, be it sitting in a silence or walking in a forest, tunes our brain to finer and delicate frequencies. It’s not being above it all but looking through it. When you ‘see’ and understand than you can also truly love. It’s not easy tough, taking a leap of faith is not for everybody. But for some is, I guess a destiny. I didn’t choose many things, extreme life situations, they chose me. Hundreds of times I felt in no control of my life and trying to falsely relax in such states was not primeval, not sincere. But I didn’t know how to help myself. Your brain can often fool you (great servant but awful master) and your body will eventually & unfortunately react in ill manner – ‘The human body is the best picture of the human soul’‘. Wittgenstein

It’s my 1st time posting these lines here, a few for a start, from 2007:

”Nasilje nikada ne moze biti rjesenje problema. Ono je samo po sebi najveci problem. Veci od ikojeg problema koje ono moze prouzrociti.”

”Suosjecanje nikada nije posesivno. Ono oslobadja. Za razliku od ljubavi kakvu poznajemo.”

”Covjecanstvu su oduvijek potrebni mudri ucitelji. Nikada vodje.”

”Zemlja ne treba nasu ljubav da bi opstala. Covjecanstvo da bi opstalo, treba voljeti Zemlju.”

”Bojati se svoje prirode (kakva god da jest) znaci bojati se samog zivota.”

”Zasto je lakse ‘voljeti’ druge nego sebe? Jer smo svi mi odmalena voljeni na taj isti nacin. Na posesivan nacin.”

”Biti strpljiv. U tisini. Razumjeti.”

”Ono sto covjecanstvu danas treba, mozda vise neko ikada, jesu suze I smijeh.”

”Pustiti ne znaci prepustiti.”

”Izludjujuce je osijecati zivot duboko, a zivjeti ga povrsno.”

”Kada bez borbe prihvatimo vlastitu nemoc, primit cemo pomoc samog zivota.”

”Strah ubija zivot, a ne smrt.”

”Koliko smo se smijali s roditeljima? Koliko smo pricali, a da nas oni cuju? Koliko su imali hrabrosti i razumijevanja da nas puste da budemo sta jesmo? … I onda se sablaznjavamo nad strahotama koje vec stoljecima covjek radi covjeku.”

”Pcela zivi svoj puni potencijal. Covjek jos uvijek ne.”

”List zivi na drvetu, ono je njegov sav svijet. Covjek zivi na Zemlji, ona je njegov cio svijet. List ne povrijedjuje drvo…osim kada je bolesno.”

”Ratujemo jer nam je strah poznatiji od zivota. A svi strahujemo od rata i volimo zivot. Koji paradoks.”

”Samo si mlad covjek moze priustiti da kaze ‘znam puno toga’.”

”Covjek cita mnogo mnogo knjiga da bi mogao pricati o nicemu. ‘Filozofi’ pricaju najvise.”

”Ocekivanja ubijaju momente.”

”Sto je zutanjak u šoku? Maslacak.”

”Nagrada strpljenju je strpljenje.”

”Cvijet se otvara suncu, prirodno, s lakocom. Takva ista lakoca trebala bi postojati izmedju dvoje ljudi da bi ljubav cvjetala.”

”Kada te nesto ‘dotakne’ – vjeruj srcu, a ne umu. Um je prepun. Srce je vecinu vremena prazno.”

”Kada se zvijezde ne vide, ne znaci da ih nema.”

”Nema noci bez dana. Nema zvuka bez tisine.”

”Svjetlo i tama radjaju boje.”

”Cijeli svemir stane u jedno zrno pijeska.”

”Za veliku ljubav potrebno je snazno srce.”

”Tko prvi vidi sunce dok ga jos nema? Ptice.”

”Akumulacija bilo cega, osim ljubavi, nezdravo deblja.”

Tina: love’s got everything to do with it

i was 6 when i saw her for the 1st time. voice from another galaxy. her majestic hair resembling mane. black mini skirt and stilettos complementing her great legs. aretha was my teenage love; tina is my all time love.

as a kid i asked mum why didn’t she name me Tina instead, well, you can always change your name later if you wish.

i’m working on my digital portfolio and also preparing for the upcoming exhibitions next year, end of january and  june/july. theme is digital art (merging with traditional), i got invitation from a town gallery > most artists in croatia don’t do digital. if asked why not,  they say they don’t like computers, learning SW is too hard and third, some of them are just not good in drawing and painting. plus, HW, SW costs a lot. digital industry is evolving & expanding to different areas so i don’t expect prices of related HW or SW to decline.

i’m not copying anyone’s style as some artists (un)consciously do. there is an established digital visual market (mangas, sexy/erotic fantasy heroinas, child like characters, all kinds of monsters, robots etc., funny in any case) and this makes everything so much easier coz the rules are already set. which doesn’t imply that those rules can’t be challenged. on the other hand, creating art exhibition with no preset rules is simply wonderfully freeing.

in may i went to conference on digital art and was surprised when i met few artists that do only traditional art, meaning working only with aquarelle or pencil. they do look happy and at peace.

so what is Tina doing in this post?

this heroine is the perfect example of an incredibly strong, positive, gentle amazon like woman-hero. she’s my muse for every super special female character. some artists need jungian archetypes to get inspired and that’s fine.

i have Tina, thx T 🙂

ps. video: ”Break every rule world tour” – concert at Maracana 1988. in front of over 180.000 fans