talent resides in passion

I am developing digital skills on my own for couple of years. Sure there are tons of youtube tutorials, web pages that inspire and find it great that people love to share the thrill of creating. Everything comes down to you and passion to draw coz without training your hand, synchronizing it with your mind\brain no magic will happen. No sw can make up for that.
Most academic painters view digital art as inferior to ‘art on the wall’. Ok, there’re a lot of bad stuff in digital world, but looking what is sneaking in as contemporary art, i don’t see a big difference in that respect. Except, academic artist has a certificate proving artistic (in)abilities. There are just too many words in today’s paintings saying nothing. Digital art is anything but closed, personally cannot compare it. Maybe coz i don’t see a big difference when it comes to delivering an idea, it all depends on a medium. I am working on a project where i merge traditional and digital paintings, hopefully will apply that to other apps. That’s what digital art enables, to be applied and experienced differently, it’s evolving.
I don’t believe in talent without work. That’s just a sign of a lack of passion and without passion there is nothing, talent resides in passion. Nothing big and beautiful happens in a second. Bad stuff actually often, in a split of a second.
I always have desire for sketching live scenes, krokies…it kind of calibrates my visual mind for creating something later from my head, making my hand relax and free. i did few loose today with pencil.


lack of title

i am watching news on tv and saw something that spilled my cup. a protest against istanbul convention in split, croatia.

‘unfortunately’ i was born in dalmatia county, town of split, country of croatia. patriarchat is their mojo.

throughout my life, unfortunately i witnessed several cases of violence against women. these women were very close to me, some still are. while i was living in spain in andalucia, almost every week at least one women would be killed brutally. in majority of cases it was a case of domestic violence. safe houses are a tiny hope for human beings who want to escape violence in own home. only coz, at times, are physically inferior and cannot / dont know how to fight back. spain has still not improved. when i came back to croatia, it was really tough to see my friend colleague with bruised face. glasses didn’t help nor did the silence.

fyi, i rarely say this, being physically inferior when facing a combat is not cool. it’s scary.

it’s cold to only say every woman should escape violence immediately. what can you actually do if you have nowhere to go where it’s safe? + where there is no ‘normal’ law that it’s there to protect you & your children from the horror. i know situations from women i mentioned, the sick part is that as a friend you can do almost nothing. and now back to the beginning, in which who knows how many trolls are protesting against istanbul convention – “the strongest move that has ever been made to combat violence against women and girls globally” (2016).

the patriarchal climate is poisonous coz it’s an extreme example of a society system. i openly say when talking about violence against women the question of gender follows on its own. any man who was raised to be the future head of the house does not see a woman as an equal. and those women who marry that kind of person accepts inferior ‘position’ in a community made of 2. from an early age she accepted a more passive role. a passive role upbringing is easy to detect when there is an absence of healthy curiosity for discovering own potential, rather mimicking own mother. her decision making is not a reason not to have a framework that’ll help that woman if one day sees her life turned to nightmare. some countries are way ahead of us in terms of viewing human beings, island for example. and we all know how it was back in those old days.

anyway, what bugs me the most are women that are loudest in their protests against ratification. no further comment. ps.won’t involve jedi into this.

only with my permission

Tonight is my last night in my ex apartment. im happy that is ex coz it didn’t work out. other place is just right, feels right, also the bed is on the floor (yeah). new life start. no drama just bliss.

so actually i wanted to write a few words about hashtag me etc. but i’ve been moving all day long so I apologize if my sentences are not too elaborate. you will get the picture though.

*Violence against women is one of the most serious and ugliest crimes in the world. i do not relate it to hollywood hashtag me2.

as a woman (whatever that means) I had almost no problems with men (whatever that means). with women, a lot. discrimination, mobbing and else not to even mention. all my ex besties turn to worsties. Despite it all, wouldn’t it be plainly dumb to claim that woman attack other women in such & such occasion. it does happen, a lot. women are angry with reason. but they don’t know how to help themselves. also the world is dominated by male energy. it’s irony that women raise men and women marry them, ‘give’ them child… soo it takes two to tango.

women are great emprovers of others, but when it comes to themselves many of them are making the same ‘mistake’ for centuries. she willingly neglects the most aspects of herself, grace, sexuality, sensuality, creativity, strength.  i was attacked by professor at the academy, sorry at his atelier he wanted to show me. i got him strong by his balls so he froze. i gently asked him about his wife and children and how it would be unwise to tell anything about this to anyone. he agreed so i gently dragged him out of atelier holding his balls. The professor after that took a year off. cool of him and we are cool now. i didn’t report him coz hate to create life problems for kissing me without my permission. also he understood the situation in the atelier. i believe women should at first at least try to take care of themselves ‘internally’. It’s the change on an individual level of every woman that is necessary, not primarily as a pack. men see a pack of women as a threat and again there is this stupid tension in the world. bureaucracy can’t make men and women think and react, rather it makes everything numb.

the thing is, i don’t blame a man in this situations. i came to atelier, naivete, 2nd year at academy. but the moment he invaded my space without my permission i reacted. remember LeeLoo from 5th element. exactly. It’s automatic. many people watch movies yet very few chose to be a main actor in own movie.

i wish women would become more gentle and charming. more sensual and quiet. not quiet in sense of acting wise by not talking. i mean quiet. also i wish women would become less jealous of other women and be more friendlier. i also wish women would leave men to be men (whatever that means). they are being over domesticated with no apparel reason. they love it, check ikea or any other shopping centre. i also wish men could feel free to feel more coz they do. i use to say that men are more sensitive than women, a few years ago scientific study showed that.

i also wish to go to sleep so i wish you a good night.

i won’t go quietly aka mind from the future

in croatia people really like to steal. especially ideas. in legal terms – ‘intellectual property’.

‘long time’ ago i worked in telecommunications as a product manager aka mobile application developer for location based services. at that time mobile phones didn’t have gps but the cell id method was used to determine person’s location (x, y coordinates). among several applications i developed with my team of IT colleagues was also the 1st mobile location application game pi pi pi, pile gdje si ti?‘ – ‘little chicken where are you?’ the skin of the app could be changed easily (tech term). did you know that chicken can be drawn like this (:>)=  i did and gave the idea to ‘creative’ advertising agency as i wanted ‘the coolest’ city light for this app.

i don’t like to bitch about anything, it doesn’t make sense. yet this time i won’t be quiet. the video is in croatian so those of you who don’t understand what it is about i will tell you simply:

  • croatian association of artists (HDLU) took my ideas for huge TESLA exhibition and gave it to private firms to develop it further
  • despite many positive snail mails from the author of the exhibition (Helena Bulaja) to whom my project was an example of what she wants to do, I wasn’t chosen to participate
  • more than 300 artists worked on this project. the budget was humongous. my ideas were rejected on the basis of so called ‘budget’
  • few days ago i saw my ideas on tv > kids love them the most
  • Tesla’s ideas were stolen many times so i guess i should feel privileged at least

i never write bad things about cro and i could make a list long as rapunzel’s hair.

i don’t know what awaits me in my new country but respect there is guaranteed 100%.

not advise: some of you who don’t believe in yourself, realize that stupidity is very loud & aggressive. so  ‘train & become stronger’, then you will start believing in yourself and be able to confront the stupidity. this comes from a tiny person who was always put down from everyone and never ever believed in. now i laugh cause i have nice teeth 🙂